Well hello there my darlings!

Finally, the RFTG team has managed to schedule me in to bring you all the latest news and gossip from the world of Rugby….

Firstly, what a fantastic weekend of Rugby we’ve just had... and what a great win for us [oops! Have I just let it slip who I support?!] But I’m sure you agree that a certain Australian media tycoon should be hung for conspiring to ensure that the two biggest games of the weekend kicked off at the same time. Fabulous though it was watching the continuing downfall of the Aussies through our England boys [when are they going to learn that we now have the Webb Ellis Cup, The Ashes, the Cook Cup all rightfully back where they belong and they can’t have them back without a fight?] – not being able to watch the Kiwis work their magic was tragic. Apparently there was an opposition team on the pitch too…

And talking of New Zealand, I’m wondering whether the corporate hospitalisation (oh dear, I don’t think my computer can spell) companies are secretly conspiring to ensure that the Kiwis - on their Centenary Tour of the Northern Hemisphere - will be in no fit state to muster up their usual prowess against the fortress that once was at Twickers. The NZ team schedule for this week includes Craig Dowd’s Testimonial Dinner at the Royal Garden Hotel in Kensington, a Centenary Dinner at the Café Royal, Centenary Celebrations at Battersea Park, and an appearance at the Hall of Fame. Phew! When are they going to have time to train?? I sense a more subtle version of the 1995 ‘food poisoning’ incident in South Africa in action!

Now, back to business and my first exposé. A little snippet for your delectation concerning one of my favourite hunks, ex- England captain Lawrence Dallaglio MBE. I’d like to take you back to the deep dark days of the glam 80’s, when the gorgeous Mel Gibson starred in Mad Max Beyond The Thunderdome, and the Queen of Rock herself, Tina Turner sang the title track ‘We Don’t Need Another Hero’. Well, my World Cup hero was a mere pup back then. He was also though a member of the Kings House School Choir who provided the backing vocals for the Top Ten hit - so obviously he was on a path to stardom at the ripe old age of 12! [ And with any luck and plenty of foresight from the selectors, rumour has it he will soon be coming back to take his rightful place in the England squad.]

And another thing…in the early days of the hottest rugby celebrity romance, the Welsh Rugby bosses warned Gavin Henson off dating the hugely successful Charlotte Church when they slammed her as publicity-seeking “rubbish”. Now please, why would a multi-million album selling superstar be courting a fresh-faced little known rugby player [pre-Nike sponsorship deal of course] when she already had millions in the bank? Not to mention that she had previously managed

to appear in the tabloids on a regular basis without his help.

The ‘Posh & Becks’ of Rugby? Who knows…at least Mummy’s chuffed at her choice in boyfriends these days.

Talking of celebrities, the divine Russell Crowe is set to make his mark in the Rugby world.

The Oscar-winning Kiwi is in negotiations to buy the South Sydney club Rabbitohs who play in Australia’s National Rugby League. As if there’s not enough captivating talent on the pitch already…how will we concentrate on the game with such distractions on the sidelines? But fear not…you won’t necessarily have to traipse out to Sydney to catch a glimpse of this RFTG heartthrob - he was spied at Lansdowne Road in the not so distant past. I promise to keep my ear to the ground for any developments for you.

For my final soupcon, I sent one of my RFTG girlfriends to the hottest party in Fulham, West London last weekend to get the low down on the now infamous Prowling Pretenders’ Pink Ball.

What can I say - the shenanigans that occurred cannot even be repeated before the watershed, and since you’re probably reading this before 9pm… Anyway, the gist of the evening was champagne, men in DJs, champagne, boat racing in Speedos, very dirty dancing, more champagne, some very interesting interpretations of ‘black tie with something pink’, a stage show involving beautiful male torsos along the lines of the ‘Full Monty’ - oh, and did I mention the champagne? From what I’ve heard, the Pink Ball will have to become an annual fixture on my calendar from 2006, so if you enjoy a quiet civilised soiree, make sure it’s in your diary too! My only worry is the attire…this stunning young rugby player was part of the RFTG photoshoot [soon to become part of the DreamTeam], but his conceptualisation of ‘Black Tie’ leaves something to be desired!

“what a difference a day makes!”

And on that delightful note my sweeties, I shall have to love and leave you - with the firm promise that I’ll forage out some more delicious gossip. So until next time, adieu….