It was a glorious day with clear blue skies and the sun bedazzled the naked eye, as she drove her sporty British racing green convertible with the roof down around the North Circular with her Gucci’s firmly on her face to Twyford Road, London Wasps Training Ground. The purpose of this jolly jaunt was to bring you, our loyal readers, an exclusive insight into why former England captain and British Lion tight head prop, Phil Vickery was leaving Gloucester Rugby, his spiritual home of 11 years to join five times Premiership Champions and former Heineken Cup winners,  London Wasps. The Press Conference was due to start at 11am, so following a quick chat with the bewitching James Haskell in the car park, she went through the building to be directed out on to the field quickly bypassing the changing rooms, which unfortunately were empty since all the squad were training outside for the press photographers.

Desperately trying to hide the discomfort, Preeti made it over to the ‘waiting area’, or patch of grass outside the Shed, the portakabin-like room the press conference was to be held in, and stood casually smiling at he fellow though well-seasoned journalists, hoping nonsensically that no one had noticed her slight accident. A huge sigh of relief swept over her as she realised that the journos really hadn’t seen a thing; they really were paying no attention whatsoever to what was happening to their right as they voraciously eyed the miniature feast that was laid on inside the room once the formalities were over. Preeti was quietly amused [whilst ignoring the dull throbbing of her foot] at the dress code of the said journos - they obviously all went to the same tailor as Jeremy Clarkson, but since they were all of a certain age, brown suede brogues and blazers, and hip length brown suede or black leather jackets should not have been a surprise and were in fact quite apt. There was one surprise though - and it wasn’t that she was the prettiest lady there, or had the latest sunglasses, or that her handbag and shoes matched perfectly - she was the only lady there! It was on this day she realised the scarcity of female journalists in the grand old world of rugby, and if she had not been in pain, she probably would have had the nous to capitalise on this interesting fact. 

Luckily for Preeti, she came upon Wasps Head Coach, strikingly handsome ex-rugby league star Shaun Edwards who graciously took her in the right direction [not being able to concentrate fully herself of course], and left her at the mercy of the physio team. Unfortunately, physiotherapist Roger Knibbs was busy with someone far more important’s strains and stresses, and a lovely young lady called Nikki took charge of our wounded soldier. Nikki did not in fact work for Wasps yet, and was up from Bristol on a trial day and was not exactly rushed off her feet up until this point. Nikki popped Preeti up on a physio bed closest to the door to examine her foot, and concluded she had a type 2 ankle strain, ie the lateral ligaments were likely partially torn and would have to be managed careful over the following few days. This translated to ‘the busted ankle means no partying for at a week since the foot has to be elevated for at least 3-4 days, just give up on driving your fab car for at least as long, and get used to daytime TV!’ Our girl, in the meantime was trying to look composed and nonchalant, not cause a ‘girlie’ scene of ‘Oooh it really hurts’, and tried almost hopelessly to maintain the cool, calm and collected professional façade that was fast deteriorating - like her ankle. What she was unaware of up until now was that the Shed in which she had been earlier was in fact the chill out area for the squad, and since it had been overrun by journalists, there was nowhere for the boys to go except the physio room to hang out. So whilst her foot was being poked and prodded, then iced and wrapped, there was THE most delightful influx of Wasps and England and Lions players coming in one by one, looking at our Preeti rather strangely [what on earth was a ‘girl’ going in their physio room with her feet up and being pampered…and who on earth was this other pretty young thing who was tending to the said foot?!]

And to think she was in that much pain [her ankle had swollen up to the size of a golf ball and was throbbing incessantly by now] that she could not take advantage of being in this unique situation! And of course the coveted interview with Phil never happened - he’d already left by the time she staggered out of the building on crutches! But thankfully our Preeti had her priorities absolutely in order when she commented to me that the most important thing going through her mind from the moment she came across Matt Dawson lying on the bed diagonally across from her was “thank god I manicured and painted my toe nails last night!”  Well my darlings - I am sure that the wasp boys won't be forgetting her or Rugby for the Girls in a hurry!

And finally for you my lovelies, I have a story of intrigue and darkness, deception and deceit, subterfuge and covert operations, and there’s not a 00-anyone anywhere in sight! The conspiracy theories raised their ugly heads again back in June, when Nick Day, CEO of globally renowned intelligence and risk gathering company, Diligence admitted to the Sunday Times that they had been employed by the RFU to “provide counter-surveillance and counter-intelligence” during the 2003 Rugby World Cup against Australia and New Zealand. It then emerged that employees of Diligence also accompanied the 2005 British & Irish Lions Tour to New Zealand but only in the capacity of security. Well how cloak and dagger is that! It obviously paid off in 2003 since we came back with the merchandise, but was probably a great big waste of money on the Lions Tour, though we are now getting used to the English losing money hand over fist these days…the cost to the RFU of losing the Six Nations so badly this year amounted to £1 million in lost revenue, and the legal costs resulting from the childish bickering between the RFU and Premier Rugby have topped £560,000 so far this year…no wonder ticket prices are shooting through the roof!

But back to the spying game, and the paranoia has moved to the Southern Hemisphere. New Zealand assistant coach, Steve Hansen, has had his remit expanded by coach Graham Henry to include security. Hansen, a former policeman, defended the decision by citing the example of the two men in camouflage caught at training taking video before the England vs New Zealand game at Twickenham last Autumn. As a result, the All Blacks now have security guards at all their training sessions.

The Australians, on the other have taken it all very lightly and in good humour, with attacking coach, Scott Johnson, turning up to the pre-match press conference in a camouflage t-shirt with ‘can I sit here’ on the front and ‘paranoia is curable’ on the back. When questioned on the matter, all he had to say was "I think we have bigger things to worry about." He was definitely right there!

 

So far the Aussies have been well and truly beaten at home and away by the All Blacks twice, and are lining themselves for the final thrashing on Kiwi soil in mid August.

And here is where I shall bid you adieu for a short time my precious jewels…so until next time…

…Au Revoir  xxx

ps do make sure my treasures that when you’re having a delightful time at the Middlesex Sevens Twickers, do be careful coz I’m sure you won’t be good!!!

And to give you an idea of the calibre of physio room hangers-on, first was Matt Dawson having his foot iced too, absolutely engrossed in his iPod tunes but he did smile sweetly though questioningly at our girl. Then in no particular order, Ben Gotting, Joe Worsley, Alex King, Mark van Gisbergen, Tom Voyce, Josh Lewsey, Stuart Abbott, Martin Purdy and John Hart…at least those were the one’s she recognised!                                                                 Josh Lewsey and Stuart Abbott

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And finally the magnificent and ravishing Lawrence Dallaglio, who not only looked inquisitively, but actually made the effort to find out why she was there, what had happened, and laughed [politely rather than hysterically] after their little chat, at which point her knight in shining armour, the dutiful little brother arrived to pick up his sister and take her home, but I do wonder whether it was brotherly love that prompted this act of kindness, or the chance to catch up with Lawrence [who he went to prep school with], and get to drive home the sports car!

©Action Images PLC

Unfortunately, as the morning progressed, and everyone shuffled into the Shed for the proceedings to begin, and she found herself a comfortable seat in the 3rd row with a clear vantage point to the desk posing as a stage for the legends of rugby, Ian McGeechan [Director of Rugby, London Wasps and renowned and highly successful Lions coach], Lawrence Dallaglio [Captain] alongside Phil Vickery and Wasps Chairman Chris Wright, Preeti’s foot continued to worsen, and putting it up on the chair infront did nothing but call attention to it from Lawrence. Consequently, the moment the talking was over [and I probably should add nothing mind-blowingly interesting was said], she was out of her seat and the claustrophobic wooden shack quicker than a bat out of hell [hobbling permitting], and luckily the familiar face she came across was Fiona, Wasps’ Press Officer, who promptly gave a her a talking to along with another very helpful older gent and sent her inside in the direction of the physio room. (Left - Phil Vickery)